- Management Trainee
I’m finished! Until my current travails, I never imagined I would be sharing my horror story with you.
Last week, my husband’s eldest sister came to visit us. Her husband, the third one, left her about four months ago. Being very close to my husband, he invited her over.
She never really liked me so I wasn’t too pleased by his invitation. I am not his first wife. From what I gathered, she left because of this particular elder sister of my husband whose fondness for him made it difficult for her to stay. She left with her two children.
Having this at the back of my mind, I decided to play safe when it comes to issues affecting her.
So that day, I decided to close from the shop to cook her special meal. Since she would be staying for an indefinite period, I didn’t want issues whatsoever with her at all. Besides the entire family fear her. My husband is also responsible for the training of her children.
The fact that she doesn’t like me, made me very determined to avoid her stress especially as my husband would always take her side against me.
Agatha, I wasn’t ready for the scene I met in my living room. My husband and his elder sister were too caught up in their private world to notice my presence in the living room.
I don’t know if I screamed or shouted but they eventually disengaged. Rather than cover her nudity, she told me that I should go to blazes if I can’t cope with the knowledge of what I have witnessed.
To crown it all, my husband didn’t utter a word. Instead, he got up like a zombie went up into our room to clean up and sleep. When he woke up, he was his normal self asking me when I came home and to get his food.
I was very shocked by his reaction. When I started making trouble with him, he appeared so confused, further confusing me.
This woman is like the mother to them all. Their parents are both dead so there is really nobody in their family I can report the incident to. Besides, who will believe me? I don’t know who to turn to or how to go about this. The way both of them are carrying on, it is as if I imagined the situation. What can I do?
I want to end it all despite the love I have for my husband and family.
First and foremost, call your husband aside to ask him what the problem is. He may not give you satisfying answers but timing your questions to when he is sober, will give you some perspective into the greater challenge facing you.
From what you described, there is more to this issue, than meet the eyes. For him to carry on as if nothing out of the ordinary happened, chances are he is under a very dangerous spell. This is not a today problem but that of several years back.
If you truly love him, you must fight to keep this man else even your children will be affected by this incident.
Therefore, to treat this matter with levity is to mortgage the future of your children as well.
So you see, divorce isn’t the solution at all. You have to fight to protect your children from the consequences of this.
Furthermore, from the reactions of your husband, isn’t it obvious to you that this man isn’t in anyway in control of his senses? That his sister could be manipulating him and the entire family for a purpose only known to her?
This isn’t the kind of battle you fight in the physical but spiritually. You must be ready to wrestle your home and marriage from the claws of this woman.
This is the kind of battle you wrestle with prayers and fasting on bent knees.
To end your marriage would be empowering her to do more damage to the father of your children.
Also, you will have to be bold and stubborn to confront her without fear.
Although this may sound out of tune, don’t deny your husband any intimacy if he demands for it. To do that would be to open your home up for this woman to further destroy since deep down; it is very obvious you do not really want to give up your home despite what you witnessed.
I’m sure if you had really made up your mind to leave, you won’t have written me asking for help.
Therefore this simple reason, do what you should do to make your marriage work. If you are going to lose your home to any woman, it shouldn’t be your sister-in-law. What they are doing is an abomination. The fact too that she has no shame about it has an implication of its own. It tells the story of a woman who is too deep into whatever power she is using to manipulate the family.
After lovemaking when he is still relaxed, gently urge him to talk about his parents, what happened when they were alive and when they died. Ask him about his relationship with his other siblings before zeroing in on his elder sister. Listen to whatever he is telling you because the information will help you get to the kernel of the problem in your home.
Horrible as this is for you, you have to develop a sort of calmness to worm information from your husband.
Make out time to see his other siblings; if you can too, search for his first wife. You need to know the magnitude of the kind of things your sister-in-law is capable of.
Even if she is dreaded in the family, there must be someone who will talk. The challenge is to find that person. Confide in the person you are closest to in the family about what you witnessed as well as your confusion following the strange behavior of your husband. Let the person understand that your purpose isn’t to cause a quake in their family but to protect your home from whatever is wrong with them all.
Explain to whosoever you are confiding in that your apprehension really has to do with your children whose future are laced with the consequences of what is happening now.
Beg that person to help you find out how to go about the issue. To assume you don’t have anybody to report the situation to in his family is giving this woman too much powers. By the time you report to this person, he or she will tell another person; the chain will continue until the family decides on how best they want the matterhandled.
Although you may not find complete support from his first wife but making her see, that her own children too cannot escape the spiritual implications of their father and aunty sleeping together will make her talk.
She must have witnessed what you saw. So getting her to talk to you will be of great help in your quest to deliver your husband from the grip of his elder sister.
Go further to talk to her children and former husbands. The more people you get involved, the harder it will be for her to upstage you from your home which will be her next move.
This will also make it easy for you to break whatever hold she has on your husband.
End it by taking your husband to church for a special deliverance. Without this, it might not be so easy to get him to cooperate with you in sending his sister out of the house.
Once delivered, insisting his sister leaves the house becomes very easy.
You and the children too must also go for this deliverance.
However until then, be careful with your food in the house. You cannot be too careful in this kind of situation.
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