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I caught my father in bed with my wife


Dear Agatha, 

I caught my father in bed with my less than a year old wife. Ironically this happened a day after she told me that she was carrying my baby.

The strange thing is that my father and wife are behaving as if nothing out of the ordinary happened. My father simply got up from my matrimonial bed and ordered me to follow him. In my living room, he gave me a cheque of N25m to buy myself a car of my choice while my wife went into the kitchen to prepare dinner.

The whole thing appeared to be like a movie as I looked from my father to my wife. 

A presence more powerful than me held me down, preventing me from going after either my father or wife.

I eventually summoned the courage to move and found myself going towards my mother’s apartment. When I got there and narrated the whole incident to her, she begged me not to fight or say anything about it to anybody. My elder brother who came into my mother’s apartment while I was narrating the incident, laughed and patted me on my shoulders without saying anything.

My immediate elder sister, who has refused to come back to Nigeria from London since she left eight years ago, wasn’t surprised by my story. She only told me to take things easy and not try to make trouble with my wife if I valued my life.

I am the last born of three children and the favorite of my father in particular.

That night, my mother came into our apartment to take my wife with her. I didn’t sleep throughout the night wondering what strange things were going on in my family.

The next day as early as 6a.m., my father came over to my apartment to more or less warn me about trying to make trouble. He told me what I witnessed was beyond me and that it would continue to be the pattern until he got tired.

After he left, I ran to my friend’s place who in turn took me to Epe to consult with a spiritualist. Without much ado, the spiritualist, told me that I will learn to live with the situation else I would become insane if I try to challenge my father. He said, not even my mother can challenge my father. He said, my father has gone too far to change and that things have been damaged beyond repairs in the things he has done to us; that it would take the grace of God for my siblings and I to overcome the spiritual problems my father in his quest for power, money and fame has done.

He too advised me to continue to tolerate the situation by accepting to live with my wife who he said, was brought into my life by my father for his purpose.

Two days after our visit, the friend that took me is critically ill in the hospital. doctors are yet to say what precisely is wrong with him.

I don’t need anybody to tell me where the attack is coming from. This has made me very determined to fight my father to a standstill. I want to confront and expose him for all his friends and associates to know who he really is.  

I am yet to return home after that day. At night I keep seeing my father in my dream telling me to come home for my own good. My mother and elder brother have been relentless on the phone urging me to come back home. 

We all live within the massive family compound which is actually a mini estate as all our domestic employees with their family live within the compound. My father doesn’t allow anyone working for him in the house to live outside the premises. He insists on it and has a school bus that takes all the children of his staff to and from school, my mother runs.

Please help me as I am so confused. I feel sorry for everybody in that house.

How do I challenge my father and still be alive to tell my story. I feel so helpless and lost. Do save me Agatha.

Helpless Son.



Dear Helpless Son,

I cannot save or protect you. Only God can. To fight a father like yours, you need first to connect and know God. Without Him, you can never win this battle. This is one clash way above you. Besides, it is a blood battle involving your parents, who know everything about your origin.

Don’t also neglect the fact that God gave them the authority over you as vessels that brought you into this world. Unless you are specially protected by God, whatever they decree about you will happen. This is the real danger you are into. Your mother who has the spiritual power to neutralize your father’s authority over you, is on this with your father leaving you orphaned in this battle.

Also, if you decide to go physical he could easily declare you insane; he has the money, connection and authority to do that. It would be his words against your own. All those people you cite as being under his spell would be the very ones he will use to declare you insane.

So you see, this isn’t a battle you go into without having God on your side. Exposing him to his friends will not make any difference because there is the probability these so called friends are in the same society as your father. As a matter of fact, you will be making more enemies for yourself making such moves.

If your mother who should rise to protect her children is unwilling to do so, is infact complacent about her husband sleeping with her daughter-in-law, who are you to fight him?

Situations like the one you have described, need good wisdom to overcome. It is also requires careful patience and planning. Given recent developments in your family, your father is on his guard, prepared to match you violence for violence; as a matter of fact, he is willing to sacrifice you rather than to risk everything.

Everything that makes him your father is dead. He sees you as the enemy so be careful and mindful of the great danger you are in. Don’t tell anybody where you are putting up to avoid what happened to the friend who took you to the spiritualist.

Also avoid patronizing spiritualists as they are very capable of adding to your problems. They don’t have the power which God has to protect you from consequences of your foundation. Besides, some of them derive their powers from the same place your father got his power from. There is no way they can confront your father because a house divided against itself cannot stand.

Therefore, your best bet is to remain under the canopy of God. Wherever you are, there is the urgent need for you to talk to God. The fact that you are able to resist your father in the way you are doing underscores your spiritual superiority over him.

Chances are he has also slept with your elder brother’s wife. Unlike you, he is not able to challenge your father.

To be completely free of him and his powers, stop spending his money or using anything that comes from his money. You have to learn to make sacrifices, become self-dependent as well as finding yourself an apartment outside your father’s vast estate.

As long as you depend on his money and resources, you might never win this battle you have set for yourself. It will weaken your position as well as compromise you.

When you didn’t know the source of his wealth, you could escape the punishment but now that you know, it will count against you.

Being a highly spiritual battle, you have to learn to pray and fast to gain access into the presence of God whose authority you must submit to completely come out of this in one piece.

To help you, pray He directs you to the Person who will join and direct your cause. Out there, is someone He has prepared to join you in this confrontation with your father; you need Him to introduce both of you.

The fact that your father keeps appearing to you at night makes the matter of prayer extremely urgent.

Also, pray for spiritual recovery of your friend so he doesn’t die for helping you. This is where you should begin your prayers.  Their aim is to isolate you from people who may want to help you find a solution.

As long as you trust God, you will overcome.

Good luck.