- Management Trainee
There is no contesting the fact that when it comes to matters of the heart, men are mysterious. Not for them is all the emotional display women are known for. Even though the feelings of love may be the same for both genders, the interpretation each gender gives it, is as different as cheese is from chalk.
Over the years, emphasis has been placed on women falling in love while little or nothing is mentioned about men and their feelings. Sometimes, the way men conduct themselves make women wonder if men fall in love at all. Our Senior Reporter, Anthonia Soyingbe, on this special day dedicated to love, went to town to find out from men if they experience love the way women do. Enjoy this special Valentine’s Day edition.
“I can never fall in love with a woman; it is only foolish men that fall in love with women. There are so many beautiful women out there and I don’t need to fool myself about falling in love with any woman,” Chima Okey bragged. To everyone, Okey is a chronic “playboy”, that goes from one lady to the other.
Funny enough, girls are attracted to him even though he doesn’t have the financial means to treat women right. However what he lacks in his pocket, he has in his looks. One day, while searching for a job, he met a lady at the security post of one company he went to drop an application letter. The lady who was so kind to him then is now his wife.
“To be candid, she is not my kind of woman, she lacks both the physical and intellectual qualities I appreciate in women. She offered to help me; though I was eventually not offered employment. Mine was not love at first sight but few days after, I went back to the organization, and met with her again. This time I realized she was an office assistant that dropped out of secondary school. I won’t deceive you, I fell in love with her for no reason, and today she is my darling.”
Unlike other girls who melt like candle wax once I approach them, this lady called my bluff for eight months before she agreed to a date with me. I was never discouraged because I knew I wanted her. Today she is my one and only wife and we are living happily. She has remained the best part of my life and is the best gift from God to me,” he recounted.
Doubtless, men appreciate lots of women on daily basis, they try to steal second glances or get a girl’s attention but it is not always a success. A man may appreciate lots of women but, has eyes for only one of them.
Men definitely fall in love for some many reasons; it could be chemically, romantically, financially, sexually inspired. By a man’s physical make-up, he said he cannot divorce sex from the idea of love but that does not make the men who falls in love, less in love. Men can love sex and love women too.
Former senatorial candidate in Ogun East Senatorial district ,Bisi Adegbuyi, when asked about his love story defined marriage, “ as an institution in which lots of care, sacrifices, compromises is required. We have two different people from separate backgrounds, living together as one.”
He went on, “I met my wife when I was in upper six and she was in lower six. I had my fair share of fun, there were girls that I was friendly with and she became the lucky one. My friends tell her that she has foresight. Maybe that explains why she never left me. She is from a very devout Christian home while I am from a Muslim family,” he revealed.
Ahmed Akano (not real name) like Chima toyed with the hearts of girls but unlike Chima who went scot-free, he paid dearly for his acts when he was betrayed by a girl whom he loved. “I met this girl during one of my escapades; we started a relationship almost immediately. She promised me heaven and earth and so much unlike me, I gave her my heart and the whole of my being. I deprived myself of so many things because of her; I fought with almost all my friends because they told me in she was a club girl. She played a very smart one on me and almost wrecked me. Despite all the atrocities she committed against me, I was very optimistic and kept begging her. Unfortunately, three years after she jilted me, I still have a place in my heart for this heart breaker,” Akano lamented.
“It is unfortunate that women often think we don’t have blood flowing in our veins hence we don’t love. That I tell you, is a very big lie. I fell in love with a girl who is from a very modest background, my parents and siblings vehemently kicked against my choice of her. My parents named her gold digger and my father threatened to disown me but I still went ahead to marry the girl without their consent.
Today, we are legally and happily married and have three wonderful boys. She is now the favorite of my parents and my siblings because of her humility. I don’t know what would have become of me if I married one of those spoilt brats my parents wanted for me. My wife didn’t believe I will marry her but I did because of my undiluted love for her.”
Akin Akinade a clinical psychologist based in Lagos explained that, “Conceit and deceit have done more collateral damage to loving relationships than politics and poverty. Being honest and being yourself will save you from lots of headache and heartaches for the unpleasant consequences of being fake and being swayed by wish washy vanities of useless egos what is the use of pretending to be what or who you are not? Be yourself and let people take you as you are or go away!”
Today is perhaps that day men should rekindle the fire of their love for their women. Happy Lovers’ day to all men who have been privileged to enjoy and stay in true love.